you’re in the middle of paradise—the mountains, the beach, the jungle—but when it comes time for your spa treatment, you’re led into a windowless chamber piped full of recorded crickets. at these adventure lodges, ranches, and resorts, you can get a massage in a river, in the ocean, or over a river, just to name a few fun, beautiful places. and if that’s not enough water to tranquilize you, ask them to move your treatment table directly into the streambed for a more, er, immersive experience. but when you surface and head back to this private island resort, another bucket list activity is waiting to be checked off: a massage on a treatment bed set directly in the pacific. anara spa at grand hyatt kauai resort and spa, koloa, hawaii from the na pali costal hike to waimea canyon, kauai is full of ways to challenge your body.
the wilderness adventure spa at spring creek ranch, jackson hole, wyoming from rafting to climbing and fishing to hiking, there’s no shortage of ways to tire your muscles here. como shambhala estate, bali, indonesia although you can get your adrenaline flowing with white-water rafting, mountain biking, and more at this holistic retreat, you’ll eventually want to unwind at the spa, which takes advantage of the island’s lush setting. scandinave spa, whistler, canada overlooking mountain vistas, this eco-spa with its healing hydrotherapy baths provides the perfect excuse to call it a day on the slopes. and if sun salutations are your thing, be sure to check out the open-air yoga pavilion. the lazy you spa at c lazy u ranch, granby, colorado after a day of fly-fishing, horseback riding, or mountain biking (and that’s just in the summer), head to the creek-side tented spa where you’ll find two massage tents suspended over willow creek.
hyper-vigilant and overstimulated, my shoulders hitched up to my ears, the rest of my body is brittle as a wooden clothespin. or, in the case of brooklyn-based massage therapist sara clark, into a cozy portion of the garden that she shares with her upstairs neighbors. perhaps it would do me some good to take a break from overseeing two homeschooling pods and yield to the hands of a professional.â the night before my hard-won appointment at tortolaniâs bathhouse, i received a pre-intake form that was more elaborate than most paperwork in doctors’ waiting rooms.
then came the legalese, and i signed away my right to complain in the unlikely case of covid-exposure. i eased into the rhythm, and my mind filled with daydreams, a series of circle-of-lifeish thoughts that made me wonder what nonsense might come up if i ever tried ayahuasca. that night, sick after watching the first presidential debate, i tucked myself into bed, prepared for a dark and twisted installment of coronasomnia.
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